


Let Me Count the Ways

by Anonymous



Category: American (US) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Star Wars RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Bleed, F/M, Ficlet, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 06:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11053734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It's precarious and rapidly narrowing, the line between Daisy and her character.





	Let Me Count the Ways

**Author's Note:**

> A one-way ticket to hell in a hand basket? Oh trust me, I know. Celebrity personae belong to themselves.

_I love you_ , Daisy thinks. 

It’s a well-worn line that has a tendency to run through her mind when she’s without distraction.

Ticking into three minutes since Colin called the break to make some adjustments, Daisy tries not to make her gaze obvious. Adam is at Colin’s side, nodding to the commentary, attentive and singularly focused. He has a constant pulse of intensity that almost makes him appear to be vibrating. His bare hand (bare and vulnerable like the scene itself—the scene that’s been in the making since their first chemistry test, the immediate spark which then fevered into a supernova) flexes, closes and shuts, closes and shuts. A tell-tale habit. He’s choosing a new tactile language for whatever direction Colin is giving and it’ll remain a secret until the cameras start rolling once more. Daisy will know when Rey knows. The method has proved effective, prompting genuine reactions. It's also helped turn her into a horrible cliche.

Not that the fault lies with Adam. He’s not to blame for Daisy’s inability to stay within the constraints of a script—her blurring the black and white like an amateur who has no reason being on a set with professionals. Falling for a co-star always seemed like a pitfall that happened to other actors. God, she can’t even lay claim to it sneaking up on her. It’d taken shape from the start.

Though their first interaction had been awkward and absolutely nerve-wracking—his reserved personality a stark contrast to her, admittedly, bubbly nature—she’d felt inexplicably drawn to Adam. Reasons would shortly follow. They’ve yet to cease and Daisy sees no end to them.

Admiration floods her artistic soul when she gets to bear witness to his embodiment of a character, the fruition of his tireless dedication. Her laugh typically tumbles into hiccups when he shares a joke in deadpan, when he recounts a situation he was in with impeccable imagery and never without a curse or two littered through when he’s away from the camera. When he smiles, soft and dimpled and boyish, she could be swallowed whole by fondness. 

He hasn’t a clue how beautiful he is, the visceral impact of pearl-colored skin and eyes made up of mahogany wreathed around black moons. He’s critical of his ears that sometimes interject through his dark hair, the strong nose centered in his face and Daisy’s fingertips itch to trace the very features that perfect him. She’d skim the curves and angle, conclude to his full mouth—assert that while he may not consider himself articulate, she’s endeared by how his words irregularly suspend in the air and the value he puts in them. Additionally, she’d admit that the value he puts in others and his generosity makes him one of the most remarkable human beings she’s ever met. She’d want him to know that.

From her peripheral, she sees that a small inquisitive smile is directed at her and shit, she’s humming again. Adam slightly shakes his head—a minute break in character—knowing she’s wandered off; it’s a constant joke between the two of them. She makes a silly, contorted face and receives a disarming chuckle that’s half-hidden behind his fist in return. 

Colin turns to the camera operators, instructing them to ready, and Daisy reinforces her preparations as she walks back to position.

She’s brutally honest and breaks her own heart with the truth. Adam is a genius method actor and every romantic gesture has been that of fiction. No matter what he shares with her, dinners or private screenings, he already has a partner that he’s happily married to. The encouraging words and advice? He’d do that for any one of his colleagues. She’s not dear to him and she’s stupid for giving the thought any life because all it does is kill her in the end. Fate gave him to her at the wrong time and will ultimately take him away.

Anger wedges up underneath her ribs—hot and sharp—and salt betrays her eyes. 

Adam is towered over her again, leaned in and touching her with care.

“Are you okay?” His tone is infuriatingly kind.

“Of course.” A lie coated with two syllables.

Colin counts them down and into action.

“I love you,” Kylo confesses to Rey. His voice is a ruin of anguish and desperation. Fingers shake at the nape of her neck and she reaches back to quiet his hand, pull it to her and press a kiss against his warm palm.

She sighs against the skin and shuts her eyes for a devastating moment, tightening her hold so as not to collapse into a fold of sobs. Once she’s collected herself, the gaze he fixes on her is pained and impossibly understanding. Like he wishes to comfort her but can’t imagine there’s anything he could say that honestly would. And he’s right.

“Just come back to me,” Rey says through tears.

 _I love you_ , Daisy thinks.


End file.
